Life As It Is: Damned if you do…

For some of us it is a fact of life that no matter who you are or what you do, no matter how much of an effort you make or how much you go out of your way to accommodate or be kind, no matter how many hoops you jump through or how many times you eat crow, with some people you JUST! CAN’T! WIN!

Apparently in some circles, it is inevitable; there is absolutely nothing you can do. You are the culprit, the outsider, a nut, someone in dire need of psycho-meds, the bitch, the one who can do no right, the maker of mischief, the odd one out, and all that simply because YOU! ARE! YOU!   For some of us, this is a fact of life and a significantly unfair fact at that! Some of us are bound, be it by sacrament or by blood, to accept the fact that in certain circles and with certain people (mainly the ones we are FORCED to frequent by OBLIGATION) YOU’RE DAMNED IF YOU DO AND YOU’RE DAMNED IF YOU DON’T!

Now, don’t misunderstand me. None of us believes him or herself a candidate for sainthood, unless of course you are indeed a saint or seriously deluded. In general most people do the best they can to try to live a good life despite their foibles and using the resources with which they have been blessed.  Each and every one of us can be difficult to live with, there’s no doubt about that.  We have our quirks and our weaknesses, our issues that we work through and those that we don’t.  But since when does that make any one of us the devil incarnate?! Since when does that bestow upon any particular group of individuals the mandate to treat us as such?! Since when does that give anyone in hell the right to dismiss everything we say or do as misled, mental, malicious, or downright dishonest or to voice their opinions about us openly as if they were fact?!!

As we move into a New Year, at time when we all hope for a sort of rebirth and a new life, I’ve been thinking a lot about the possible answers to those nearly rhetorical questions, especially regarding my own delicate situation and I’m not talking about the pregnancy! From deep within and upon considering the advice and observations of some very wise professionals, I’ve come up with several truly reasonable and undoubtedly true explanations for such behavior on the part of certain persons. The kind of explanations which provide we, the damned, with a set of wings to float high above the bullshit that such unfair treatment mostly definitely is.

First and foremost certain circles of persons and families, while infinitely open ad nauseam to the free flow of philosophical ideas and unceasingly supportive of the whole-hearted pursuit of one’s ideals, lack respect for the most important factor of all in a healthy and holy lifestyle: TRUTH, especially the truth concerning its own members!  Yes, such circles of persons love to ignore their elephants with a passion unparalleled by any other on earth to be sure.  Woe to he or she who decides to glance for but a moment at those elephants, complains of their stench, faints at the mere site of the shit they leave behind, or even, God forbid, attempts to address the existence of those elephants in any way shape or form. Preposterous indeed!   

Clearly then, it is a given, that these same circles or persons lack the second most important factor in a reasonable and mentally sound life: OBJECTIVITY!   Yes, folks, with these people it is their way or the highway!  They refuse to see anything as simply “different” from their way of doing things.  If it is not how they do it, it MUST be bad, wrong, immoral, and ultimately God-damned, even if perfectly in concord with the Gospel.  Because in these persons’ minds the way they do and see things is Gospel!

Even if, in all reality, in function and practice they are both gravely uncharitable, illogical and utterly rude, their transgressions go unnoticed, or at the very least, glossed over with the utmost skill. When any member of their circle is wrong, it is not because they are actually wrong, but because you, the damned, made them do or say this wrong thing or drove them to it, and because again, you, the damned, have done something worse and should be focusing on your own faults instead!  It is almost as if they have created a place above all others for which the subjectivity of their circle is all that exists or should. There is no concern for what is objectively right, proper or dutiful, but only for what they see as right or proper.

As if the absence of Truth and Objectivity in these circles were not enough, one cannot ignore the lack of SINCERE, AGENA-FREE HUMOR.  Humor can be a wonderful thing shared among truthful and objective people, but in the circles subject of this post’s discussion, humor is used solely as a weapon, meant to pierce and to burn, a form of self-defense for the circle.  This is clearly a form of cowardice disguised as a charitable approach, which, it most certainly is NOT!  However, in these circles of persons such insincere humor is employed regularly and with frequency in order to impose the circle’s opinions on those who have made it quite clear that they do not wish to entertain those opinions in the first place. Whenever members of the circle are not invited to offer their “two cents” on a matter, which more than too often is NONE OF THEIR EFFIN’ BUSINESS to begin with, they shift into humor mode using it as a means by which to enforce their agenda. It is no wonder then that these same insincere and agenda-laden comedians always seem to be wrapped in fear over hypothetical conspiracies which float outside of mainstream reality. In other words, cowards and dishonest people that they are, the persons of the circle fear that they are being made subject to the dishonest and cowardly control wielding tactics of conspirators. Wow. That’s pretty darn mental if you ask me!  

In all actuality an approach of sheer pity for these people is called for. After all they have taken a good thing like the love that the members of a family should have for one another and distorted it, by their own ignorance and stupidity, into to something completely unloving and totally ridiculous. True love, the kind that is true in the eyes of God, cannot preclude truth, objectivity, or courage. So in all reality they are actually quite pathetic!  

Remember, all you fellow damned, as damned as you are in these circles, you are not what they believe you to be.  Be strong and compassionate and well, laugh! They are what they are folks, and what they are is truly laughable!

For the non-damned, if you know me in person and you are thinking “is she talking about me/us?” as you are reading this, well I have only three words more for you: “YOU SAID IT!” After all, I’m already damned and well, telling you what I think of you isn’t going to make it any worse! In addition, I’m considering adopting a new motto for 2008: “I just don’t give a damn!”