Let me begin by saying Thank you. I appreciate your comments and feedback, not just on the Pregnant Man post, but on all of them. While I do not answer every comment via email (and applaud those bloggers who do), I read and treasure each one, as well as the further thought (and sometimes discussion) which they provoke. The fact that we all have minds and hearts, that we use them, and that we are able to share the fruits of our interior labors over the internet never ceases to amaze me.

Over the weekend, I’ve been thinking (imagine that!). Lest my intentions or anyone else’s be misconstrued, I believe that a few clarifications about Friday’s post and my take on the Pregnant Man are necessary. I suppose it is my own fault that, in the fret and fervor of putting together the post and its accompanying poll widget, I neglected to set forth the premises upon which I feel comfortable categorizing the whole pregnant man situation as both “unnatural” and “inappropriate”. So, while I have absolutely no intention of apologizing for the use of any such terms, let me retrace my steps and better explain myself out of respect for you, my faithful blogger friends.

First things first: - excuse me in advance if I waver into the deeply philosophical – but there is a vast difference between making judgments and being judgmental. The distinction needs to be made and the line delineated. To mistake one for the other or to lump them together indiscriminately is a grave injustice. One is a beautiful fact of life; the other an unfortunate result of the depravation of our common humanity.

To make a judgment is to decide how one will confront any given situation. Scientifically speaking, it is virtually impossible for one to live without making judgments, in other words, in a constant state of indecision. A human being cannot exist and not judge, unless that human being exists in a vegetative state. Each and everyday one is presented with hundreds (or maybe thousands) of realities which one must judge to live, judging some unconsciously (as in responses to simple sensory stimuli) and others very consciously (as in matters of opinion). To withhold judgment, per se, would therefore, be paralyzing, both physically and mentally.

Making judgments is also essential to human conscience and the very reality of defining oneself as a human being. If one doesn’t judge what’s right and wrong, then how can one gauge one’s own behavior? Without this source of reasoning, how does human behavior differ from animal instinct? How does one examine one’s own conscience or live according to it? To form a judgment in conscience, then, is not so much a matter of close-mindedness as much as it is to have the courage to take as objective a position as humanly possible on a situation in the light of natural and supernatural law, to internalize that position and to live accordingly. To be without judgment is simply not to be.

Being judgmental is an entirely different matter. To be judgmental is to condemn. To decide that another person is less of a person, or not a person or their soul damned based on what they do. This is clearly not the same as making a judgment on what they have done. While it is fine to disagree with what someone does and judge their act as objectively right/wrong, moral/immoral, natural/unnatural, it is not fine to judge the subjective circumstances of that act, the state of that person’s soul, or even that person. So while I can detest what someone else does, I am not free to detest that other person. I can hate the sin and love the sinner, for lack of better terms. That is the essence of Christianity itself.

That said let it be known that I am by no means in favor of being judgmental or of condemning the pregnant man, his wife or anyone else. They actually seem like very pleasant persons who treat one another with respect and have a positive relationship. I’m sure that their baby will be loved and raised to be a stellar individual. No one is questioning that, nor dare I or anyone else question their relationship with God or the universe or whatever higher being one might use as reference. That is entirely their business. However, let me also note that whatever their relationship, whatever their circumstances, whoever they are, there is something highly unnatural about the way they have chosen to live their lives.

First off, if someone is born with female genitalia, one is female. If born with male genitalia, one is male. Even my two year old can grasp that concept, it’s natural. Natural is the way one comes out of the womb prior to one’s consciousness of male or female or that there is such a difference to begin with. To say that one has female genitalia, but is truly male is insane in the technical definition of the word. One may be female with predominantly masculine personality traits or vice versa. That doesn’t make one the wrong sex, nor does that make one a woman/man in a man/woman’s body. To make that claim is like claiming that nature, or God, or even the universe itself f@cked up. And to say that implies that one has understanding above and beyond the universe and nature itself. If that isn’t navel gazing, I don’t know what is.

This is not to say that gender confused persons don’t have a problem or to belittle it. I’m sure that they do and that it must be overwhelmingly difficult for them. Their situation commands charity and compassion. But aiding and abetting these persons in physically mutilating themselves in an effort to “fix nature” just doesn’t seem helpful, right, natural or appropriate to me. Think about it. If someone claims to be a dog trapped in a human body, will I help them to undergo extensive surgeries to become a dog? If my friend is convinced that she needs to undergo extensive surgery, even if detrimental to her health, to become the Cosmo girl she is convinced that she is interiorly, would I encourage her to do it? Philosophically it just doesn’t jive.

In addition to all that, I question, along with some of my commenters, why a woman would go to such great lengths to simulate the male gender only to opt to do what clearly only a woman has been physically equipped to do. There is just something not consistent, constant or unwavering about that kind of jumping around. It’s just not healthy and it’s all very confusing. In fact, if one watched the show, one could clearly see that there were significantly more feminine qualities and personality traits in this “man” than masculine, despite all “his” justifications for gender modification to begin with.

Here’s the bottom line: Is this all none of my business anyway? Maybe to some extent it isn’t, but not entirely. If I don’t have the courage to look beyond my own front door at the world around me and decide for myself what makes sense and what doesn’t, if I don’t have the courage to stand up and say “this just isn’t right” or “there is something seriously wrong with this or that” then what frame of reference do I have for life at all? If I spend my life just trying to maintain the status quo tip-toeing around other people who are doing things with which I just simply don’t agree for fear that they will think me close-minded or intolerant, then I won’t really be living in harmony with anyone anyhow. Not really, truly, or to the bone authentically. The real challenge is to make judgments, express them, and live by them without treating others judgmentally; to take a stand without standing on someone else’s back. That’s the essence of getting along with one another.

So would I hiss and boo at the pregnant man if he lived in my neighborhood? No. Would I keep my kids from playing with his daughter? No. Would I avoid or ignore this person? No.

Do I still wish that God had created men to carry babies instead of women? Maybe. Ask me again in five months time… on second thought, make that a year!