Can someone please take a few minutes to explain to me why, oh why, in addition to all the wonderful and amazing changes that one’s body undergoes during the course of a pregnancy, must the realms of the brain where one’s pleasant dreams are concocted go haywire? Why exactly must the mommy-to-be reach month five celebrating the long-awaited disappearance of nausea, only to find herself immersed in the most disturbing and bizarre nighttime adventures imaginable?
Now it’s easy to write off the reoccurring stalless toilet dream, since, at this point waking for potty trips every few hours is a given. No stall. No privacy. No peeing. Thank goodness! Developing a bedwetting routine at thirty-eight, pregnant or not, would truly be nightmarish. It’s actually the other nightmares that have permeated my early morning pre-caffeinated haze with an overwhelming “DUH?!”
Why the hell would our pediatrician whimsically and sadistically engage in immunizing my two year old with vaccines that she didn’t need? And I sure as shit can’t imagine why I’d be tossing and turning through throwbacks to my far gone convent days, catching up on the ex-Mother General’s whereabouts and current preoccupations while garbed in my former habit. It’s just crazy, hormonally crazy!
So seriously, does anyone know of a proven method for producing an “I’m- getting-laid-with-someone-handsome-and-famous – e.g. - Dermot Mulroney” kind of dream? (Forget The Memory Keeper’s Daughter! Did you catch his ass in The Wedding Date?)
Oh my days! I have that toilet dream all the time! The cubicles sometimes have doors but they are only about 1 metre so they just cover ya boobs - weird weird weird. Most of time they are completely stalless and I usually have to do a number 2! That is so comforting to know someone else has such bizarre dreams too!
I have bizarre dreams and I have never been pregnant! Maybe that is a good thing. If you find a method to induce the getting laid by a hot guy, let me know ASAP!!!
One day I will tell you about my weird pg dream that involved me having both a penis and girl bits.
I dreamt once that I put the baby’s carseat on top of the car and drove away. this was no doubt prompted by the fact that I actually did it with my coffee once. (I mourned the loss of the coffee for a good half hour.) The sad thing is that you actually see on the news that people really do this once in a while…
Nice to know I’m not the only one, NuttyGal!
Oh yeah, Lisa. Weird dreams only get weirder when pregnant. So far no one has emailed suggestions for the hot dream induction.
Penny, maybe that has something to do with the pregnant man?
Welcome, Lambira. Let’s keep the coffee and the baby off the top of the car! Ha! What a troublesome nightmare!