Yesterday was my birthday, and while numerous birthday wishes from my bloggy friends and a celebratory lunch combined with Happy Birthday serenades on my voicemail from the women and girls in my life make it a special day, there is the overshadowing and ever-aching “cluelessness” of the Hubby. (I refuse to say “men in my life” because my Dad left messages in a total of THREE different places to make sure that I got it.)
Now, while I know that Hubby means no harm - the man is a scatter-brain at times, so much so, it’s a wonder he remembers to put his pants on in the morning – his “cluelessness” on such occasions does bug the hell out of me! To top it all off, I did my best to preclude the anticlimactic birthday scene by sending him a text message from the girls last week. It went something like this:
“Dear Daddy, we thought we should give you a heads up. Next Wednesday is Mama’s birthday and next Sunday is Mother’s Day. Mama would really like a chocolate mousse cake with chocolate praline filling from XYZ bakery to share with …. She would also really love a gift certificate to ABC Nail Spa since she can no longer reach her toenails to paint them. We just didn’t want you to forget. Love, Princess and Drama Queen.”
Tell me, could it get any more specific than that? I did get my chocolate mousse cake, but not the praline filing (which is really what I was craving) and I guess I forgot to add a card in there, for which I didn’t get one from him or the girls. I didn’t think that needed specifying. Woe is me!
All kidding aside, it’s not really a disappointment. I’d have to be a spoiled brat to let someone else’s shortcomings ruin my birthday, especially my last “thirty-something” birthday! But it has got me wondering… is anyone else’s significant other just as clueless when it comes to things like this? I WANT THE SCOOP! WHAT’S YOUR HUBBY’S LEVEL OF “CLUELESSNESS”?
Please, vote and know that you can vote for more than one option in this poll! I really want the scoop!
Is the chocolate mousse cake of which you speak from DiMare? Mmmmmmm…..
My husband has gotten much better since the some benevolent god invented the “wish list”.
i simply keep a running list on www.sundancecatalog.com of jewelery that I like, and “accidentally” email it to him every day for a few weeks prior to whatever occasion is looming.
I think the trick is the frequency of the reminders…
Can I say my husband is better at remembering these things than I am w/o getting rotten tomatoes thrown at me! hehehehe….
What he’s NOT good at remembering to do is put the seat down!! ARGH I’m tired of that cold, swishy water on my a$$ in the middle of the night!
Men! I had to tell my husband (my daughter is 8 and son 3, so he SHOULD know) that he has to remind the kids about Mother’s Day and how they should treat me (because if I reminded them, that would be nagging)It is HIS job to take them to pick something out for me or even just make a card for me. I make sure I have them do it for him, so why shouldn’t he have them do it for me??
He was a gem on my birthday this year so no complaints there!
My husband is pretty good at remembering…usually on the day though. This means I get the lame-o cards left over from WalGreens (which has an awful card selection to begin with).
This Mother’s Day it appears that his problem was more technological in nature. He ordered me something online and logged in through my username and password so instead of him getting the shipping comfirmation, it was sent to me. Oh well, at least I am getting something.
I need another option to vote. I don’t expect anything and only soemtimes am I disappointed. I have realized that he is not romantic or thoughtful with the birhtday/anniversary gestures. Bur as long as he comes home evey night to me, happy and alive, what else can I ask for?
I don’t think you could have been anymore specific than you were. I will have to remember to e-mail reminders from the cherubs too…
He does have vague ideas when my birthday is and so I get the “When’s your birthday again” at a time near it.
But he’s not a romantic-bring-flowers-home type of guy. And I am okay with that. I doubt he’ll even bother with a Mother’s Day card but then, I’m not his mother.
When the kids are older I’ll just be happy with a card from them. That will mean more to me than a toaster, slippers or something.
Mind you… a chocolate praline cake would certainly be welcomed with open arms …er.. mouth.
Happy Birthday! My hubs is pretty good. I, hanging my head in shame, have actually forgotten his birthday and not remembered till two days after. Can you say, suck at being a wife.
Happy Birthday!
My hubby is very, very good at remembering these things. He’s sweet, I’m lucky.
I walked past a mommy picking out her own Mother’s Day card tonight and it just about broke my heart! She was telling her kids to give it to their dad in order to give to her. She seemed fine with it, so that’s ok…I guess.
Again, Happy Birthday. I hope you had a GREAT day!
no im not clueless, its just that these things have become overly important to you, and you need to put your ocd into some perspective, i guess thats what i help you with.
and speaking of shortcomings, where should i start?
A chill pill is prescribed medicine for many women out there, your not alone, trust me, i guess its hormones or something…….
And there you have it folks… the man’s point of view.
Like I said, F#$kin clueless! Ha!
Happy belated birthday - I’m celebrating the big 39 soon too! I voted in your poll - I do have to say my hubby is good about remembering stuff like that. I hope yours makes up for it on Sunday!
I “trained” my hubby when we were dating when my birthday was. He learned well. He NEVER forgets our anniversary - flowers sent to work so I can brag about him/them! And he does not think he has to get me anything for Mother’s Day because he’s not MY child. When I pointed out that the gift is really from our 2yo (with his wallet and help) then he sort-of got it. Last year I think I got dinner and dessert made for me for Mom’s day…this year I’ll probably get nothing….maybe I’ll get him to cook and clean up again!
Oh no! I really hope that “hubby” comment above is not from your hubby. It sounds so mean!
My husband is generally good at remembering (especially birthdays and anniversaries), though he forgot Mother’s Day and never knows what to “do.” I’ve found the best way to get a nice gift is for me to choose it, order it, and pay for it. But that truly is a disappointment since at least half of the sweetness is in his remembering.
If you haven’t read “The Five Love Languages,” you should perhaps pick it up. It’s a good book that will help you relate to your spouse better, and in the way most meaningful to him/her.
I call my sister almost every birthday crying and she always tells me the same thing. It’s my problem not his - I married him and need to accept him for who he is and understand that the fact that just becuase he didn’t do everything I wanted him to do doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. Obligatory gifts are just not as important to him as they are to me and why should I expect them to be.
All very good points - but I still want a huge expensive surprise for my 40th. He’s got two years to think about it.