(n.b. absolutely no hormones were harmed (or employed for that matter) in the production of this post)

While I can’t for the life of me think of anything sweet or moving about which to write this miserably overcast Monday morning, I most certainly can think of more than one about which complain. So if you are looking to read some rosy happiness you’ll have to go elsewhere today. I apologize in advance.

Between nursing the wonderful pregnancy-induced nose bleed with which I awoke and the headache which is pounding right through my first jolt of caffeine, I have fixed myself another cup and have decided now to fix the world (or at least mine) with this post. Daring, don’t you think?

First off, I hope that each and every one of you enjoyed a spectacularly beautiful and touching Mother’s Day! You deserve it. Don’t even ask about mine. It’s not worth the effort of describing. Let’s just say, I know I didn’t get what I deserve. In any case, the inspiring day it turned out to be has got me thinking … again.

I am authentically disgusted with the kind of inspiration that life has been dishing up. While there is no doubt that gratitude and contentment with one’s life “as it is” are the secret to happiness, there is always that part of me which struggles with unreasonable compromise and clings fast to the ideals that my heart are unwilling to relinquish in effort to “keep the peace”- which is for me, to embrace mediocrity.

I am at a crossroads where I am no longer willing or able to “take the high road” or “to be the better person” as others envision I should. We all understand those concepts differently, some more than others. I am completely and utterly sick and tired of eating crow and engaging in the dance of family diplomacy. I no longer have an interest in doing “what’s right” to keep everyone else happy in their imaginary world of harmonious (not) relationships.  I am concerned solely with doing “what’s right” for my daughters, my husband and myself.  Everyone else can basically GO. TO. HELL!  If that means I need to step up my efforts to kill themommynicekelly altogether, so be it. Consider it done.

Does anyone else get me on this? I’d love to hear your feedback, even if you disagree.

Feeling better now, coffee done and enjoying a big “I wuv you mommy” kiss and hug from a half-naked Drama Queen with a drooping wet diaper! I’ve got to go enjoy the children for whom I am holding on.

Happy Bad Mood Monday!