There are so many ways to be reminded that you are pregnant. Nature just doesn’t want you to forget. If first trimester nausea or second trimester migraines are not enough to keep you pleasantly aware that you are “with child”, there are plenty of indicators in your third trimester to raise your consciousness. Here are just a few that I encountered over the weekend.

(1) Having to ROLL in and out of bed, moaning and groaning with sciatica pain the entire time. (Oh, and guess what, y’all. One can suffer sciatica pain in the FRONT too! Yup. That one’s new for me this pregnancy. It has something to do with the way the nerve loops through the pelvis! Yeah!)

(2) Being so deliriously exhausted that while “resting” at 8pm so that you can get back up and do what needs doing, you threaten your almost four year old who won’t go back to her big girl bed with the following: “If you don’t go back to bed, I’ll pull your ebay listings!”  (Seriously, I threatened her three times and she responded with a clear “WHAT?!” each time before I even realized what I was saying. Needless to say, in light of #1, I just let her get into bed with me.)

(3) Your children admire your bathing suit to the tune of the following: “Mama, your swim suit looks like a nightgown.”

(4) You are surprisingly buoyant in water.

(5) You are trying to measure your body from shoulder to opposite hip for a new baby sling and you cannot find your hips! They’re gone, I say, gone forever! WTF?! (p.s. I chose the Sylvia)

(6) You have to change your clothes a minimum of three times each morning (again, moaning and groaning in pain) before you can find something decent and comfortable to wear.

There you have it, folks. I’ll leave you with six, because anything more would undoubtedly sway currently non-preggo mamas to NOT procreate.