Last Friday, being the nut that I am, I took the girls along to run some errands. $200.00 for new rocker-glider cushions? I think not. $15.00 at the nearest fabric retailer and a few hours of elbow grease? Hell yes. So off to UPS and Walmart it was, Mama and the ducklings in tow.

Since we couldn’t get out of the house before 11:30am, it was half past lunchtime before we had finished. In view of potential meltdowns, I also purchased a box of Entenmann’s chocolate-chip cookies. This got the girls in the minivan and into their seats with relative ease. The reward? One cookie BEFORE LUNCH! Bad Mama, I know, but I was desperate.

themommykelly (doling out delectable treats):“You are each having only one, so no asking, crying or whining for more. Capisce?”

Princess: “Yes, Mama.”

Drama Queen: “Okay!”

Five minutes into the ride, themommykelly gets hungry for just one more. (Cut me some slack, folks.) She reaches across the front seat, fiddles in the bag and retrieves another. Mmmmm.

Princess: “Mama, how come you get to have two, but we can only have one?”

Drama Queen: “Yeah! One?”

themommykelly (thinking quick on her feet ass comfortably positioned in the driver’s seat): “One for me and One for Baby. That’s only fair, right?”

Brief pause of silence from the back seat as Princess prepares her rebuttal.

Princess (Our little lawyer in training): “But Mama, you said babies only drink milk! Baby can’t eat cookies! Cookies are not for babies!”

Drama Queen: “Hey, yeah, Mama! Only Big girls eat cookies!”

Long pause of silence from the front seat as themommykelly’s blood sugar is way too low to think of another quick and witty response. She turns up the radio waiting for the inevitable uprising from the passengers. Minivan speeds past the cemetery which happens to be sporting a whale-like fountain in the middle of it’s pond. The girls get excited at the view.

themommykelly (to self):“Saved by the cemetery! Whew! Disaster averted.”